Quitting Smoking is the most important gift I've ever given to myself

I know that sounds incredibly dramatic but that’s because it is. I’ve loved tobacco ever since my first memories. I used to inhale the scent from my Auntie Virginia’s many cigarette boxes that were scattered within easy reach all over her house. I loved the way her large and heavy crystal lighters made a slight click when one depressed the ignition and even the smell of the lighter fluid burning was an odor that I liked. I couldn’t wait until I was grown up so that I could smoke like all of the adults in my acquaintance did. I actually don’t remember anyone who didn’t smoke. I did not wait until I was a grown up until I had my first cig. I thought that by having smokes I would be grown up. I used to roll up paper very, very tightly and make a ‘filter’ out of a piece of scotch tape at the end and then pretend with my buds to be ‘smoking’. I was probably 6 when I filched my first cigarette and 12 when I started regularly buying packs. I’ve quit for short periods of time since then but never with any real resolve to kick my habit and I actually still wanted to smoke so it never lasted.
This past August in the springtime of a new (and tempestuous but that’s another story) relationship with a man who did not smoke I quit at his request and actually happily stayed off of them until Christmas week when we were on holiday in Puerto Rico. He was driving me completely mad with his mood swings and screaming so you guessed it, I bought a pack. Just one, I lied to myself. It’s just a ‘holiday’ thing and I won’t take this back to my ‘real’ life. Self deception can be very cruel, dishonest, and vindictive. Of course I started again and as the relationship debilitated into something that I did not even want to save I had no desire to quit. February 16th we officially ended it although it took him another month to move out of my apartment. I smoked more than ever as this dragged on and began to really hate myself for my ‘weaknesses’.
I settled back into single life and began accessing what it is that I really want out of life. Not just what I want to accomplish but who I want to be. I’ll interject here that almost all of my friends are non-smoking and that my smoking was one thing that they all without fail commented upon as something they could not reconcile with the ‘me’ that they knew. My friend Stacy said it pretty succinctly, “You are such a clean person; so strong and together. I’ve never understood how it is that you can smoke. It’s against everything that I know about you.” All of which is actually really true. I’m border on being a health nut. I don’t take medications except for herbal. I don’t think I even have any over the counter pain medication in my house. I exercise and eat really well as I truly enjoy cooking and love to eat out. So what was it with the smoking? Clearly with everything I know it is a very self-destructive habit. Ok so it’s been said that it’s harder to quit than heroin but so what? Why have I never really been committed to me to give it up and live the life that I want to be living? One part of that puzzle is that for me smoking actually creates a barrier that is more than the actual smoke that surrounds one. It was like a spiritual fog for me that protected me from I don’t know what. The long and short is that this was not who I wanted to be anymore. I choose to live fully alive. Finally I had to admit to myself that despite any Polly Anna pictures that I wanted to have of me the truth was that I was as much of a junkie where smokes were concerned as was anyone addicted to any other substance. Then I prayed long and hard and have not stopped since because if there’s one path in this life I don’t want to be walking down it’s that of an addict.
April 6 was my quit date and I feel great. I did some research on supplements which help return to my body what the habit had removed so thought I’d share these here too as they’ve really helped me. There have been no withdrawals or otherwise unpleasantness except for a couple of nights at the beginning where sleep eluded me. Since caffeine (coffee not tea for me anyway) is a potential trigger that went too. Of course alcohol lowers inhibitions (and willpower) so none of that either. God gets the real credit for helping me to do what is it that I deeply want to be doing. I firmly believe that the Creator only wants us to want what is in our own best interests and will give us whatever courage or willpower we need when we feel we may not on our own have enough. Exercise is vital to the healing process and to cleaning out soiled lungs as is eating well. Also line up projects to keep yourself busy during those times when you might have otherwise smoked. If a craving hits do something immediately that is good for you to change your focus like go for a walk or make (or buy when you go for a walk) a vegetable juice. I just realized that my story has turned into sharing what I’ve done so here’s a list of the supplements.
Supplements
Grape seed – use as directed - helps to protect ad repair the lungs
Vitamin B complex –100 mg. of each major per day - Necessary in cellular enzyme systems often damaged in smokers.
B12 – 1,000 mcg 2 x daily - increases energy; needed for liver function
Folic acid – needed for the formation of red blood cells; important for healthy cell division and replication
Vitamin C – 1,000 to 5,000 daily (I use 2, 000) Important antioxidant that protects against cell damage; smoking drastically depletes the body of vitamin C.
Vitamin A – 10,000 daily – contains antioxidants that aid in the healing of mucous membranes. It is extremely important for lung protection.
Dandelion root and milk thistle – protect the liver against harmful toxins from cigarette smoke.
Zinc –50 mg daily - important in immune function
Valerian Root at night to aid in sleep if needed.
If you should choose to do the best thing for yourself that you will ever do I commend you and by all means email me if you need any encouragement, suggestions, or support.
Reclaim your life!