Twas the night before vacation

Thursday ended up being a late one. My Mom had mentioned cooking a few things prior to the cruise (she hates to cook) so I told her I’d be glad to do it. As it was all ‘white trash food’; meatloaf, potato salad, cole slaw, macaroni salad, and chicken salad [ok chicken salad alone is not WT but in combination with the others it qualifies] it was not difficult to prepare but all together slightly time consuming. I’d done some of the prep after work on Wednesday so by the time I finished up it was nearing 8 PM. This gave me just enough time to run to the gym to do weights and by 9:30 I was running the reservoir in Central Park. What a beauty the park is post twilight. It was not yet completely dark and there was a low cloud ceiling so the city lights were banked back creating a glow as if Manhattan were encased in a bubble. The old fashioned lamps around the track were all lit and firefly’s scattered their winking mini beacons. (Who knew there were fire flies in CP? I didn’t.) At that hour the track is sparsely populated which makes running there a real pleasure both for the beauty of the night and the solitude. By the time I returned home, showered and ate dinner it was past 11. A bit of pre-sleep reading and it was past midnight by the time I shut my eyes.

Off for a 10 day sailing holiday

I'm off with the 'Rents' for 10 days of sailing the NE seaboard. We'll be mooring in Newport, Block Island, Martha's Vineyard, and Stonington amongst other ports. I'll be sure and take lots of pix and update the site upon my return. I'm afraid that my laptop is forbidden on board so that I don't work so there's no choice in the matter. This year anyway. I hope you all have a very happy 4th of July holiday!

Hillbilly medical dictionary

Benign................What you be after you be eight.
Bacteria...............Back door to cafeteria.
Barium.................What you do with dead folks.
Cesarean Section.......A neighborhood in Rome.
Catscan................Searching for the cat.
Cauterize..........Made eye contact with her.
Colic...............A sheep dog.
Coma...............A punctuation mark.
D&C................Where Washington is.
Dilate.............To live longer than your kids do.
Enema.............Not a friend.
Fester............Quicker than someone else.
Fibula............A small lie.
G.I.Series.........World Series of military baseball.
Hangnail...........What you hang your coat on.
Impotent...........Distinguished, well known.
Labor Pain..........Getting hurt at work.
Morbid..............A higher offer than I bid.
Nitrates............Cheaper than day rates.
Medical Staff.......A Doctor's cane, sometimes shown with a snake.
Node....................I knew it.
Outpatient..............A person who has fainted.
Pap Smear................A fatherhood test.
Pelvis...................Second cousin to Elvis.
Post Operative...........A letter carrier.
Recovery Room....Place to do upholstery.
Secretion.......Hiding something
Tablet..........A small table to change babies on.
Seizure..........Roman emperor who lived in the Ceasarean Section.
Terminal Illness....Getting sick at the train station.
Tumor...............More than one.
Urine...............Opposite of mine.
Varicose............Near by
Hospital............The biggest building in town, other than Joe's feed warehouse or Franks lumber mill.

Thought for the Day

Some people are like Slinkies...
Not really good for anything,
but they still bring a smile to your face
when you push them down a flight of stairs.

4 wives

One of my sisters emailed me this parable and I think it well worth sharing. I'm afraid I don't know its provenance to give proper credit.

Once upon a time there was a rich King who had four wives.He loved the 4th wife the most and adorned her with rich robesand treated her to the finest of delicacies. He gave her nothingbut the best.He also loved the 3rd wife very much and was alwaysshowing her off to neighboring kingdoms. However, hefeared that one day she would leave him for another.He also loved his 2nd wife. She was his confidant andwas always kind, considerate and patient with him.Whenever the King faced a problem, he could confide in her,and she would help him get through the difficult times.The King's 1st wife was a very loyal partner andhad made great contributions in maintaining his wealthand kingdom. However, he did not love the first wife.Although she loved him deeply, he hardly took notice of her!One day, the King fell ill and he knew his time wasshort. He thought of his luxurious life andwondered, "I now have four wives with me, butwhen I die, I'll be all alone." Thus, he asked the4th wife, "I have loved you the most, endowed youwith the finest clothing and showered great careover you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow meand keep me company?"No way!", replied the 4th wife, and she walkedaway without another word.Her answer cut like a sharp knife right into hisheart. The sad King then asked the 3rd wife, "Ihave loved you all my life. Now that I'm dying,will you follow me and keep me company?""No!", replied the 3rd wife. "Life is too good!When you die, I'm going to remarry!" His heart sankand turned cold.He then asked the 2nd wife, "I have always turned toyou for help and you've always been there for me. when die, will you followme and keep me company?" I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!",replied the 2nd wife. "At the very most, I can only walk with you to yourgrave." Her answer struck him like a bolt of lightning, and the King wasdevastated.Then a voice called out: "I'll go with you. I'll follow you no matter whereyou go." The Kinglooked up, and there was his first wife. She wasvery skinny as she suffered from malnutrition and neglect. Greatly grieved,the King said, "I should have taken much better care of you when I had thechance!"In truth, we all have 4 wives in our lives: Our 4th wife is our body. Nomatter how much time and effort we lavish in making it look good,it will leave us when we die.Our 3rd wife is our possessions, status and wealth. When we die, it will allgo to others.Our 2nd wife is our family and friends. No matter how much they have beenthere for us, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave.And our 1st wife is our Soul. Often neglected in pursuit of wealth, powerand pleasures of the world. However, our Soul is the only thing that willfollow us wherever we go. Cultivate, strengthen and cherish it now, for itis the only part of us that will follow us to the throne of God and continuewith us throughout Eternity.

The Spirit of Pride

In case you missed the Pride Parade on Sunday in NYC below are some pictures I took during the first 2 hours. Although the parade was to run for over 5 hours I'd forgotten sun screen and did not want to repeat the burn experience from San Fran again so I didn't spend the entire day out and about. I also had work to do at home so that's it for Sunday.
Saturday I went to The Spirit of Pride at St. John the Divine (follow the above link to their site) which was fascinating. I'd opened up Time Out magazine on Saturday when I was having my lunch (Salad Nicoise) to see what was going on over the weekend and spotted this event. I finished my meal, jumped through the shower and hopped in a cab up to the Cathedral. There were many wonderful speakers and clergy representing just about every religion in attendance. The turn out was less than I expected but I'm hoping that's because it wasn't very well advertised and not because there are so many in our community that just don't care. Terrance McNally was introduced by his companion Tom and it was heartwarming to hear the amount of love that they have for each other. Mr. McNally was witty, forthcoming and interesting. When telling of first coming to NYC in the early 60's he spoke of how different life was and what limited options there were for gays. He made a joke about there not being any options for lesbians but went on to say perhaps that's because there were no lesbians at that time which brought down the house which was 1/2 female. Marsha K Nelson, the Head of The Cathedral School and here partner Gigi Madore, MD did a lovely speach with their son joining them on the podium. Just seening a positive loving same sex couple with a child was strong political statement in itself. I don't mean to belittle the contibutions of the many other excellent speakers by exclusion as everyone was superb but my favorite was The Right Reverend Gene Robinson, Bishop of New Hampshire. His address was intelligent, thought provoking, and most surprisingly very funny. I don't know what preconcieved notions I had but a Bishop with a sense of humor was not something that I was expecting. He said that first of all he wanted to thank his partner whom he had stand up and wave to the audience. He gripped the podium and looked very seriously at us clearly preparing to say something both profound and important, "Isn't he cute!?" the Right Reverand deadpaned. Just the right note for a preacher and one I've never heard before. I highly recommend hearing him speak if the opportunity ever presents itself.
After the benediction and closing song (Somewhere from West Side Story sung by all, very queer and really touching at the same time) we were asked to meet up in the middle and talk to each other. Despite wanting to introduce myself to quite a few of the awesome speakers I totally had an attack of shyness and so booked out of the Cathedral which was a real shame as I don't know the next time I'll be crossing paths with Terrance McNally.....
It being such a beautiful day I decided to walk down and across the park. Not however taking into account that this was the first time this season that I was wearing a favorite pair of Dolce and Gabanna sandals so although a georgous walk in portions of the park I'd never been before, ouch! Nothing a soak in cold water could not heal upon my return home.

Wappo Bar Bistro

We wandered out of the spa in a blissful state and decided on picking up a bottle of wine and sitting on the lovely porch and having a glass before dinner. We spotted the local wine store only to discover that they’d closed early that night because of a special social function (they actually left a note to that effect on the door). This being the perfect day we decided not to be discouraged; it was obviously not meant to be. We discussed restaurants and eliminated the ones we’d eaten at before as being just adequate but no were near special enough for the perfect day. I suggested that we head over to Washington as our landlady had first put her finger on the map on a specific location when we were asking her for dinner recommendations. We saw a sign, “Wappo Bar Bistro” (1226B Washington, Calistoga, CA 94515 (701) 942-4712) between two old and charming buildings and went down a cobblestone courtyard lined with tables to reception podium. “How are the two of you doing this evening?” asked the pleasant hostess with a huge and inviting smile on her face. “Terrific now that we’re here.” I replied. “We’ve just wandered in without a reservation is there any possibility of accommodating us?” She looks down at her reservation list and my eye follows. There’s not even enough room to put down a nickname clearly there is no space. She looks us each in the eye and says, “I like to live on the edge. Right this way” and seats us under an enormous grape arbor with vines that were as thick as my thigh so must have been hundreds of years old. The waitress recommended a wonderful buttery chardonnay which was fantastic and we both ordered the gazpacho. I’d only just mentioned to Sue how I only liked chunky not pureed gazpacho when the chunkiest gazpacho I’ve ever seen was served. For a main course Sue had a tandori chicken and I had the nights special which was roasted lamb shank served over lentils with grilled vegetables. The meal was perfection as is the location. I look forward to returning. As well the hostess came by the table a few times to chat and in the course of one of the conversations we’d mentioned going to the spa that afternoon and she commented on how she didn’t know how we could stand it in the summer (we’ve only ever been in the summer) that for the locals that is a winter thing to do and we should come back in the autumn. As it gets cold the hot springs in the area create a mist that shrouds the town in a wonderful and mysterious fog. The hot treatments are a treat and sitting at the same restaurant in front of a roaring fire with friends is a huge treat. We made a pact on the spot to return in November or December and Max and Dana agreed that they want to join us too!
We were both getting buzzed from the wine so took the unfinished ½ a bottle with us back to our inn where we later sat up on the porch in the wonderfully comfortable cushioned wicker furniture and talked until we couldn’t. I don’t think either one of us even turned over in our sleep that night. A truly perfect Friday.

MUD BATHS

While checking in I asked the landlady if she had a recommendation for mud baths where we might be accommodated at the last minute. She heartily pushed one spa in particular where we’d be able to have a shared mud bath (she assumed we were a couple) and offered to call for us right then to make the reservation. I politely told her that she was really not to bother over us; I’d take the list and make the calls myself. If there’s one thing Sue and I agreed upon it was that we definitely DID NOT want to take a mud bath together. I couldn’t even tell you why I feel like that because there are plenty of friends that I’d be fine doing it with. Maybe I just don’t see this as a co-ed deal……anyway I got on the phone at 4:50 and the first place I called said they could accommodate us if we could be there in 10 minutes. We could and we were. The mud baths were Sue’s treat after much argument and she followed here female attendant off as did I follow my male one in another direction. Now if you’ve never treated yourself to this experience all I can say is YOU MUST. It’s a brilliant detoxifier in addition to making your skin glow and you whole body feel positively wonderful. Each spa is slightly different but at Calistoga Spa Hot Springs located 1006 Washington Street, Calistoga, CA 94515 (707) 942-6269 after being escorted to the changing room you leave everything but a key on an elastic bracelet in a locker, take the towel they provided and pad down the hallway. The room itself that I entered was circular with a column in the center with showers radiating around it. The back half was mud baths with the feet to the wall and the heads pointing toward the center. This turns out to be a seminally private affair as no one is laying in their mud bath checking out the rest of the room. The other half were whirl pool (feet to the wall again) mineral baths and in the center quadrant a door to a steam room. Completely naked now you sit on the side of the mud bath and simultaneously slide your entire body over the side while horizontally lowering yourself into the mud. Really you float just under the surface with your head resting on a pillow on the edge of the tub. It’s deliciously warm to hot and the attendant comes around to hold a cup of lemon scented ice water with a straw for you to drink out of while also changing cool towels on your forehead. Heaven! After about 20 minutes you haul yourself back up out of the mud and over the side, trying to scrape as much off of your appendages as you can and go to one of the shower stalls in the center. This shower takes about 10 minutes to get all the mud out of and off of everywhere it’s found its way. Attendant now leads you to a mineral bath that it bubbling like a witches cauldron and you immerse yourself into this. It did occur to me that lots of hidden farting was probably going on for between the force of the jets and the scent of the minerals no one would be any the wiser. For the record I did not. But I did remember when as a child in Ohio if you were in the kitchen while one of your siblings was bathing in the tub, which was just above, often you would catch the unmistakable sound of underwater fart echoing off of porcelain. Just thinking of that noise makes the 12 yr old boy who still lives inside of me laugh. Back to the spa; one luxuriates in the healing waters for another 20 minutes or so again and then to a cooling shower before entering the steam room for 10 minutes. I have to tell you if you have one poison left in your body at this point you’ve been overindulging! After the steam your led to a darkened room where you’re wrapped in towels and cotton blankets (a wool one is an option everywhere I’ve ever done this but I’ve always declined as I’m still sweating profusely). Slowly your body temperature returns to normal and the sweating stops. Interestingly it is a very clean sweat at this point; you don’t even feel like you need to shower off after this. I would like to add that tipping the attendant is totally appropriate. I gave $10 with the total treatment being $60.

Inn the Wine Country

We drove up to the wine country with the intention of stopping at a few vineyards (one of my favorites Sterling is in Sonoma) and then go on up to Calistoga for the mud and mineral baths. We chatted and pointed and actually Sue and I talk endlessly which would probably be exhausting for some to be around but perfect for us. Anyway we didn’t stop anywhere but carried right on up to Calistoga where just as soon as she’d turned a corner onto the main street we spotted the perfect B & B so we pulled over to see if they had a vacancy. We went up the steps at the Garnett Creek Inn to find a phone beside the door with instructions to lift the receiver. This was patched directly into the proprietress’s cell phone and she was there in 5 minutes. The available room had its own entrance off of the wrap around porch and as soon as I saw the look on Sue’s face in the room I knew we’d found our inn for the night.

Lunch at Sushi Ran

I’ve not gotten very far in my telling of my PERFECT WEEKEND IN SF. It’s not just my opinion either; Sue at the end of say Friday said, “That was the perfect Friday, everything about it.” I’d say the same about Saturday or Sunday. We agreed that the perfect moments, meals, events that led up to perfect days ultimately led to a perfect weekend. The problem of course with a perfect weekend is that regular weekends really suck in comparison like when I got back to my regular life in NYC I was blue for two weeks! Part of that too was probably from missing Sue as it takes a perfect friend to create perfect times. Anyway back to Friday morning; we leisurely made our way up the incredibly steep streets that led back to Sue and Max’s house. It’s a workout for a NYC boy where the only ‘hills’ are a few minor inclines on the Upper East Side. We each tossed our overnight bags together and hopped into her pickup truck to drive out to the wine country. First however we stop in Sausalito where we decide to get some lunch. I start to tell Sue about my favorite Sushi restaurant ever that’s name I cannot remember but I think I might be able to find it. Of course it was like we had on radar and I directed us right to it. Name is Sushi Ran and it’s located at 107 Caledonia St. Sausalito, CA 94965 (415) 332-3620. The place was packed as it always was every time I’d been there in the past but the host asked us if we wouldn’t mind sitting at the sushi bar we could be seated right away. We didn’t mind and our waiter ended up being this complete sweetheart taking extremely good care of us. I’d just finished telling Sue about years ago I’d had the most divine cucumber infused Sake martini that was exactly like having springtime in your mouth when our waiter asked us what we’d like to drink. We started with the menu and he made some recommendations and finally I had to tell him about the best drink I’d ever had. “Oh we haven’t had that on the menu in about 2 years but…..if you don’t mind waiting for a few……I think I can do it for you.” No, we don’t mind. We ordered a giant plate of Sashimi and (again not on the menu) I asked the waiter about these fantastic miniature crabs that are flash fried and eaten whole. Yes, he would be able to do that too. Needless to say lunch was perfection but it was time to move on to the next adventure.

How male or female is your brain?

How male or female is your brain?The following tests were developed by Simon Baron-Cohen, director of the Autism Research Centre at the University of Cambridge.
Baron-Cohen's theory is that the female brain is predominantly hard-wired for empathy, and that the male brain is predominantly hard-wired for understanding and building systems. He calls it the empathizing-systemizing (E-S) theory.
Empathizing is the drive to identify another person's emotions and thoughts, and to respond to these with an appropriate emotion. The empathizer intuitively figures out how people are feeling, and how to treat people with care and sensitivity.
Systemizing is the drive to analyze and explore a system, to extract underlying rules that govern the behavior of a system; and the drive to construct systems.

Follow the above link to take the tests. I really found this really fascinating. My Empathy quotient score was 68 and Systemizing Quotient 55 which makes me a Type B which is extremely balanced according to the graph from the test results. Feel free to post your results on the comments section of the page after taking the test.

Friday Morning in SF

I flew across the country on Thursday night and I’d used points for my ticket on US Airways. Since they NEVER have award tickets for the dates when I want to travel in Coach so I used twice the points and flew first class. What a drag that was. I’ve not flow 1st on US Air in a few years and has it ever changed for the worse. I could have had as much leg room in the exit aisle with the same service. Only 1st Class that I’ve been on that was worse was Aeroflot from Delhi to Moscow then Moscow to Istanbul. I kid you not; the toilet seats were wooden!
Friday morning Sue and I walked down the hill from their lovely apartment to have coffee and pastries at a local place called Patisserie. Just the stroll to have breakfast was breathtakingly beautiful and aromatic too as everything is blooming. After tea and pastries we set off to wander some gardens and ended up at the Conservatory of Flowers which is in the Golden Gate Park. (Link above)
They currently have and exhibit called Natures Pharmacy the healing power of plants. Make a point of going as it’s a truly gorgeous place. As we meandered back to her house it struck me like a bolt that one of the things that I’m really missing in NYC is nature. Despite running in the park I feel completely disconnected from nature and that I have to change. It’s essential to me and I’ve let it slip away without realizing how integral it is to a healthy and complete life. This has motivated me to start taking day trips to the Hudson River valley, the Pocono’s, and slightly Upstate NY to find a weekend place to buy.

A Vision Epiphany

Last night I had one of the most intense experience's of my life to date. I thought that I was dreaming but it was so strange a dynamic in the dream that I forced myself to awaken and then drifted back into the vision which was precisely that and not just a dream. I was in an enormous house that was mine. My Grandma Lucile who died in 2000 was there with all of her girlfriends and some of my female relatives from my childhood. I knew they were all spirits but they were also solid in form and glowing with love and peace. They were about the kitchen and the house doing things like cooking, needlework, cleaning; just the ordinary activities of everyday life. I was so thrilled at being with my Gran again and also grateful that these wonderful women/spirits were dwelling in my house and content to be doing so. I had to go to the basement for some reason which turned out to be this dank, decrepit, warren of falling down rooms and walls. The foundation was crumbling; shorn up in places by rotting timber. Along with the accumulations of old possessions that one would expect to find (most of them not mine and in many cases I wondered how these strange objects came to be in my basement) there were also massive piles of dirt that had to be climbed over to get from foul room to foul room. The light was wavering and casting strange shadows. Water pipes were broken and spewing liquid. Everywhere in this basement were strangers, most of them very young (immature like teenagers) working at trying to fix the foundation or stop a broken pipe from leaking. I was not afraid but merely curious to know what these strangers were doing in the bowels of my house. In climbing over and though the dirt and mud I became filthy, finally making my way circuitously back to a stairway that lead upstairs into the house itself. I was thinking about the sad state of affairs of my foundation and how much work it was going to take me to fix. Also the enormous job of cleaning out the leftover debris (that was not mine to live with) and the piles of dirt that were everywhere blocking passage was going to have to be done by me and not these minions of strangers that were somehow in my house. I knew that I was responsible for their being there and that I alone were responsible for removing them. I could hardly wait to get up into the light and back within the circle of my Grandmothers warmth. In my filthy and bedraggled state I entered the bright and lovely kitchen that smelled of good foods cooking and was amazed to find my beloved Pyewacket and her daughter Natasha (cats who had passed over many years ago). Both the cats and I practically jumped with joy at seeing one another again and I explained that I was too filthy to touch them and so we kissed each other on the lips. This made sense in the dream as all I felt for these creatures and they for me was pure unconditional love.
At this point I came back up to full waking reality to lie in my bed and analyze this experience. In a material house I would not allow inexperienced adolescents try to repair a foundation why would I be permitting this in my ‘spiritual’ house? Years of my own insecurities have developed in me the need to be liked by everyone and to allow anyone in. It was in a blazing flash that I understood that all of the decent people and creatures that I need in my life are there in my heart and experiences and more to come as I go on but that I don’t have to like everyone and certainly I can let go of the need to be liked by everyone. My foundation is mine to clean up and to shore up. On the surface my ‘house’ looks fine and has many good qualities but every structure needs a solid foundation. For the first time in a long time I awakened feeling both peaceful and hopeful. There is nothing that I’m experiencing in life that is not within my control to change/fix provided I’m willing to stop giving up my control to others and willing finally to take responsibility completely for myself.
Many years ago I’d written a poem in which one of the lines is, “to clean the rooms that in dark souls reside.” This is still the case for me but now it seems clear and not frightening to do this. I don’t have to accept anything from anyone that I choose not too. I need not any longer be tied by my insecurities to a future that is not working for me. I don’t have to carry any burdens that are not mine and it’s possible to fix what has been broken which I’m not sure I believed or understood how to do before. I’ve prayed long and hard for a message that will get through to me and I believe God send my Grandmother and others whom I had always unconditionally loved to deliver the message.
I stayed in bed until 5:30 pondering this experience and additionally coming to understand that my capacity to love is not a burden if I treat it like the gift that it is and also use it on myself. That it’s ok for everyone to be whom and what they are, I don’t have to like them nor them me, and it’s really ok for me to say no. I ended up spending the next two hours happily ironing and packing for my upcoming weekend in SF feeling/knowing that a burden had been lifted from my soul by these revelations.

With any luck

this will be waiting in my magical forest. Let you know on Tuesday.
Rodigues from the boy

San Francisco is Calling

Tomorrow afternoon I leave for a long weekend to SFCA to visit really dear friends that I've desperately missed so I'm feeling very blessed. SF is one of my other favorite cities and the last time I was there M, S, and I had a wonderful time. I'm expecting nothing less this visit as S is a magical creature that makes everything better just by her being there. Some of our activities are going to be repeats; Sonoma for some vino, Calistoga for the mud baths, Muir woods (which is pictured above) for just absorbing this georgeous earth. Muir Woods is actually one of my favorite places; there is a magic and an energy there that is palpable. As well the restaurants in SF are some of the best anywhere so I'm looking TOTALLY FORWARD to getting out there with my beloved friends. Plus the fact that I used extra miles on my ticket so I'm traveling in the front of the bus. Yeah it's a spoil me kind of weekend coming up. I'll post a tell all upon my return Tuesday.

Chanel Exhibit at the Metropolitan Museum of Art

I’ve been overworked and haven’t had a chance to update in too long. To my shame I saw this exhibit on May 14th. Which was a Saturday. Don’t go on a Saturday. I have never been more irritated in a museum but the inane comments (and I’ll defend the idiots right to make them) than I was on this day. Example: “Oh, Stella what’s the big deal with this stuff? It just looks like a bunch of men’s clothes.” I found myself wondering if she only knew rich drag queens. And speaking of queens there was the married one who walked the entire exhibit trailing his wife loudly proclaiming in a ‘Madonna British’ accent, “Oh didn’t MOTHER just look wonderful in Chanel? So exquisite, so refined, even Madame didn’t wear Chanel like mother wore Chanel.” Shut up!! Fella if your mother were really so refined she’d be ashamed by your vulgar proclamations on her behalf. Enough about the crowd, the show is great just avoid the weekends or wear earplugs.
The exhibit itself was marvelously curated with many pieces that I’d never seen before. Most remarkable to me was that the show was strong on Coco with less reference on Karl which I for one enjoyed. You really get a feeling for her immense talents in this retrospective and additionally are exposed to what appear to be direct inspirations which I found fascinating. There were many examples where I was surprised upon reading the credit to find out that it was Madame and not Karl who had created a number of gowns that I would have thought to be his. Anyway the show is on through August 7th so go!